Snarky Printable Valentines
Not a fan of lovey-dovey Valentine's Day cards? Have a kid who would be mortified to hand out a card with hearts on it? If so, this collection of snarky valentines is for you! I've got booger and fart jokes, completely non-romantic cards, and "non-girly" valentines - something for everyone!
Nose Picking Valentine
This valentine comes in four colors: the red and green shown above plus blue and purple. It's a little bit gross but a lot of laughs - perfect for kids and tweens!
Snot Valentine
On a similar note, I have these snot/booger cards that are designed to be paired with a balloon! They come in four colors and there are two different sayings as pictured above.
STEM Valentine
Okay, so this one isn't snarky per se, but it's also not romantic or cutesy! Plus, it's a fun activity - kids can make hearts or whatever shapes they want out of the gummy candies and toothpicks that you include in the bag with these valentines.
Snot Slime Valentine
Take the snot jokes one step further with a little baggie of green slime! Cut a slit for the 'nostril' and tape the baggie onto the back of the card with a little bit of 'snot' peeking through.
Love Stinks Valentine
Hand out whoopee cushions to kids at your own peril - that's all I'll say about this one! I also have a pink version here.
Poop Valentine
Nothing like a good ol' poop joke! This digital download comes with two versions: one that says "with love" as pictured above, and one that says "from" instead.
Life Without You SOCKS Valentine
Snag some $1 socks from Target (like these ones pictured) and boom - you have a snarky, non-romantic, and useful valentine!
Zombie Valentine Pack
This set comes with four different zombie valentines. You could tape a small piece of candy to the front or back of the cards, or just give them out as is.
Unicorn Fart Valentine
To complete this card, cut a slit on the dotted line, pinch off some cotton candy and shape it into a fart (you know what I mean lol), and tuck a corner of it into the slit. Then put the whole thing into a treat bag or sandwich size baggie and fold and tape any excess bag to the back of the card!
Zombie Nose Picking Valentine
More nose picking jokes, but make them zombies!
Roller Skate Valentine
This valentine doesn't have any hearts, pink, "love," or gooey-ness. Plus, who doesn't love donuts?! (But I have a pink/rainbow/hearts version as well)
Love Bites Shark Valentine
This treat bag insert works perfectly with some goldfish crackers or swedish fish as the shark's "snack." Tie the top of the bag with twine or a ribbon for a cute effect.
What's The Croco-Dilio Valentine
Obviously, it's lame to get too excited about things in middle school, so allow your tweens to maintain their cool, laidback vibe with these croc valentines.
Don't see what you were looking for? Check out my entire selection of valentines here!
